TGIF?

TGIF! "thank God it's friday" or "thank goodness it's friday" right? i'm not leaning that way today. while that may be the acronym and they've developed a high calorie/high fat restaurant concept around it, it's not what the Williams family is feeling today. gavin has been having a rough couple of days and i got a call from the NICU this afternoon that on his blood tests it looked like he was showing some sort of infection brewing so they have now begun him on an antibiotic to fight that and hopefully calm him down. he has become less resistant to touches and moves of late and that can certainly be due to the fact that the little guy doesn't feel well. in order to keep him more comfortable they have put him on a sedative drip rather than giving it to him every few hours. his lungs continue to be a little more hazy than yesterday and his heart rate remains slightly elevated - probably stress and rightfully so! we are discouraged by this news and as the Psalmist wrote in Psalm 67 "may Your face shine upon us", we are wondering why it seems God has rather been doing the opposite. feelings are delicate. we all have them and they all play into our decision making on some level or another. they can be so good and yet so bad in some cases. i'm just a man, trying to take the best possible care of his family and wanting to do whatever i can to take the pain away from my wife and my little boy and yet there isn't anything i can do.
tracee just got dropped off at the ER at Shea as she is going to have a blood patch procedure done by an anesthesiologist (her doctor's husband) at about 4:30 to try and solve the issue with her horrible headaches. ever since the spinal she was given to perform the C section, she has dealt with major headaches that really leave her incompacitated. the goal is to draw some of her own blood and reinject it into the spinal column and sort of block the leak that is occuring. we are told that this should provide instant relief for her and so we are praying for wisdom for the doctors and surgeons and that it will be a quick and easy procedure and deliver the results we are looking for. my heart goes out to tracee as she wants so desperately to be back to 100% and has been operating at about 30%.
somewhere in the mix i try and work but i tend to get caught up with doing things like this and doing the best i can to manage information that is given to me by doctors, nurses, specialists, etc and then pass it along to our faithful followers and family.
today has been pretty crappy and frustrating to have things happen to tracee and baby. it really is hard at times because most of these things are like the fraction of a percent of a percent deal - and we get hit with them! maybe we should play the lottery?
pray for a continued calm in the storm for us and for our spirits as they have been stepped on so many times along the way. pray for tracee's procedure to go perfect and FIX the problems and the gavin will RESPOND WONDERFULLY to the treatments.
finally, to all of you parents: hug your kids. love on them. tell them that you love them and that you are thankful for them. we can't hold gavin and we can't hug him. we get to tell him through some plexiglass that we love him and are thankful for him but it's just not the same is it? you never know what you have until you don't have it. so...when your kid is crying or acting up or running when they shouldn't - just stop and be thankful for their ability to do so. thank God for those good and perfect gifts.

jeramy