Friday, December 4, 2009

our little blessing happened. we are having a baby! words cannot even begin to express what it feels like to have a life growing inside me. there are so many changes beginning to take place. it's actually crazy how fast your body adapts to life inside of you! if you were to ask my husband, he would tell you these things: she's very tired, can never choose what she wants to eat because "nothing sounds good", she's nauseas, she cries over everything and she thinks she's getting fat. now, i am not going to disagree with any of those things as they are most definitely true! ha ha!

but in addition to those things, there are things i am experiencing that are really tough to put into words. i feel like the luckiest woman in the world. i got to marry my best friend, we were able to get pregnant quickly, and now i get to do the one thing GOD has called me to a mom. something has happened with my outlook on life since becoming pregnant. there is not a day that goes by when i do not think about our child. there is not a day that goes by that i do not think about what kind of mom i want to be. i want to be courageous, soft spoken, loving, patient, kind, firm, encouraging, invested, a role model, tender, compassionate, a listener, and most importantly, a GODLY mom. i think about what our baby's personality is going to be. will they be shy, outgoing, a risk taker? will they look more like jeramy or me? will they have blue eyes or will they have brown eyes?

among these things, i also think about the blessing that it is to have a baby. i don't take the responsibility lightly at all. i want to raise our baby in the LORD and be able to trust that He holds them in His hand.

there are so many things i wonder about. there are so many questions i have. but there are a few things i know for sure. i know that jeramy will be a wonderful dad. i know that i will love that baby more than i could possibly even try to imagine now. i know that our baby will hear about Jesus and see Christ in jeramy's and my relationship. i know that the other things will come together in due time.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

what is truth?

jeramy and i started a new sunday school class about 6 weeks ago called "the truth project". it has been so awesome to learn more concrete things behind what we believe as Christians. i am amazed, however, with how many people in our study have such a wrong view of GOD. it is so strange to me that there is a misconception (even in the church) about who GOD really is. last sunday, we were listening to the speaker talk about evolution and facts that biblically contradict it. yet, there was a man who raised his hand and talked about how since GOD can do what He wants, he could made it "evolution". the response he was given rocked my socks off..."God will not do anything that is against HIS nature and He will not do anything that contradicts the Scriptures. pretty obvious right? well, i thought so. still, so many people still don't get it...and i am talking about Christians. if these are the misconceptions of people IN the church, what is it like for people who aren't even attending church. how much more far off are their perceptions?? scary.

Monday, October 5, 2009

i will praise YOU in this storm

sometimes it is really hard to see God's plan and timing in everything. right now is one of those times. i don't know why i get stressed out about small things when i know that God has never let go of me; however, i still do. i have been heartbroken watching my hsuband deal with so much stress lately, almost daily. the hardest thing, as a wife, is to see your husband going through something and not know how to fix it. i tried...really hard to fix it by myself. but at this point, i know that my job as his wife is to pray pray pray. it is such a weird feeling when things are completely out of your control, yet in some weird way, it is comforting. why is that?? maybe it is because it's a relief to know that i don't need to stress myself out with it. God tells us to cast all our cares on Him. He wants to do this for me. so why do i still feel helpless?? i guess this is a good time to mention that patience is not a gift of mine. i wish that it was. in my heart, i really do trust in God's plan but i can't seem to get myself to wait. we are told to wait on the Lord...wait on His timing. why can't i do it?! i guess i need to pray for myself too. i need to pray that God shows me how to pray for my husband and how to completely give him over to the Lord.

God, i do trust in You. but it is so hard for me!! i ask for your forgiveness in this area of my life...for trying to do it by myself and keeping you out of the equation. please forgive me. i will wait on You.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009


i had such a wonderful time on our honeymoon. jeramy put everything together and it couldn't have been more perfect. he planned for us to take a cruise to mexico, including cabo san lucas, mazatlan, and puerto vallarta. jeramy got us a room with a balcony and everything. it was beautiful! i had never cruised before and now i can't wait to go again! jeramy and i both think that next time, it would be so much fun to go with a group of our friends. there is so much to do both on and off the ship. we went jet skiing in cabo, where we got to see land's end (the arch in the ocean). also, we went to a beautiful all-inclusive resort in puerto vallarta, that included all you can eat and drink, beautiful pools, and unlimited use of beach activities (snorkeling, kayaking, etc.) jeramy and i had so much fun with one another. it felt so normal to spend a week together, uninterrupted. now that we are home, it is amazing how i fall in love with him more and more each day. i love the feeling i get when i come home to him each day. the companionship is so amazing and unlike anything i have ever experienced. it is so reassuring to have someone that i wake up with every morning and go to bed with every night. Thanks be to GOD for the blessing of always knowing that i have someone who loves me that much!

our honeymoon seems like so long ago, but every time i look at the pictures, it brings me right back to how much fun it truly was!

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

not-so-sweet dreams

okay...i am convinced that my husband has the weirdest dreams ever! i swear, you never truly know everything about your other half until you live together. i was sure that there weren't any "deal breakers" for me when we got married. little did i know that jeramy does and says the CRAZIEST things in his sleep. sleeping in the same bed as him is truly an experience! gosh...i love being married to him. hilarious moments when you least expect them! here are a few of the good ones (and the ones i can actually blog about) ha ha!

this happened while we were dating/engaged. jeramy fell asleep on the couch during a movie:

jeramy: "tracee" (in a frustrated voice)
tracee: "what?"
jeramy: "you didn't put your shoes away"
tracee: "what?"
jeramy: "your didn't put them away!"
tracee: "what shoes?"
jeramy: "your barkley' didn't put them away."
tracee: "my barkley's? in Charles Barkley?"
jeramy: "YES...your barkley's!"
tracee: "are those like basketball shoes?"
jeramy: "yes...your WNBA didn't put them away!
**at this point, i had nothing to say...because i couldn't speak! i was laughing so hard!!! I woke jeramy up and we laughed...a lot!!!!!!

shortly after getting married (middle of the night)

jeramy: "tracee" (in a super urgent voice)
tracee: "what?" (thinking something is wrong or happening in our house)
jeramy: "did you lick the paint?"
tracee: "what?"
jeramy: "the paint...did you lick it"
tracee: "no babe...i didn't lick the paint"
**jeramy begins to explain to me that he knew what he was saying and knew it didn't make sense. he talked that out all by himself while i just listened. oh yes...he was still asleep. note to self...people don't present a really good argument to defend themselves while they are still sleeping.

shortly after getting married (middle of the night)

I awaken to jeramy leaping across the bed (i'm sleeping on my stomach). before i know it, he is completely on top of me as if to shield me from something. you can imagine how FREAKED OUT i was to wake up to that! when i asked him what he was doing he proceeded to tell me "you're going to be okay. you're going to be okay". over and over and over again.

~I am now beginning to realize that i am taking after him. the other night, i kept tapping him on the forehead, trying to convince him that i was certain someone was trying to break into our much worse is this going to get? we've only been married for 2 months! :) ha ha!

Wednesday, September 2, 2009


last night, jeramy and i began reading a Christian marriage book together. we decided to sit down over dinner and have a meaningful conversation about marriage and the way that GOD intended it. the book we began reading is called "love life - for every married couple". the idea of doing this meant so much to me and so much to jeramy. it was great to be able to prioritize time like this with one another. we decided to take turns reading it aloud. we chose to do it this way because we heard that as you read something aloud, you can retain much more of its information. i had heard this in a sermon one time..."read the Scriptures aloud". so we began doing just that. i read first...then i kept reading, kept reading, and kept reading. the idea of taking turns was great but there was something that kept me from handing the book to my husband. what the heck!? as jeramy kindly asked to read the next chapter, i felt a sense of hesitancy come over me. i sincerely wanted to equally participate and i was so disappointed in myself for hogging the entire first chapter. then it hit me! i realized that i didn't want jeramy to read because that would mean that i would have to listen. i am one of those people who can retain so much information in things i read....again, things i read. i began to notice that i have awful listening skills!!! so, i handed the book over to my hubby and began to actively listen to the powerful words and Scriptures that he was reading. it was so, so hard! looking back on last night, tons of thoughts began to overtake me! i realized that marriage is also meant to keep me humble! i know that GOD had that come to my attention last night and will use my and jeramy's time together to help grow me. i recognize what He is trying to do. however, even though i recognize what He is going to do during this stage in my life, i feel like i am fighting against my actual willingness to let Him. it's so weird to think that i have been like this my whole life and i am thankful for the obvious reminder to actually fix it. gosh, i really want to fix it.

God, please help me to be teachable. help me have a heart that is open and willing to let You use me, mold me, and show me what it really means to listen...just listen. not interject my own thoughts and feelings because i feel the need to be heard. help me see the power of what might happen if i just listen.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

where's buddha?

so, i thought this was super funny...judge for yourself...

each year, i develop a list of responsibilities for the students in my classroom. some of those jobs/responsibilities include the line leader, the door holder, the germ catcher, the caboose, etc. Today, while assigning these jobs, i realized that the child who was supposed to be the caboose was absent. apparently, a little boy in my class realized it at the same moment. he began shouting, "can i be the buddhist? can i be the buddhist? i'll be a good buddhist...i'll be the buddhist in line. please!" i had no idea what he was asking me until i put it together. i kept trying to explain to him that it is called the caboose. don't think he really got it because at parent pick up, after giving me a hug goodbye, he told me, "thank you for letting me be the buddhist. i had so much fun!" after a day like that, how can i not LOVE my job?!

Sunday, August 30, 2009

wedding overview

like most little girls, i had the wedding of my dreams planned out since i was in grade school. although, in the early 90s, my dream wedding was an all denim wedding...i know...pretty awful right? you'll be happy to know that there was NO denim anywhere near our wedding and even without it, it proved to be the most perfect day.

planning a wedding in such a short amount of time proved to be a little bit of a challenge. i think i would be okay if i never had to tie another bow again! my poor husband...he offered to help, but let's be real...i am so much of a type A person that once i saw his attempt to tie a bow, i told him that it was "sweet of him to offer, but that i would do the bows". in code, that means, "there is no way i am letting the bows on our programs look like that!" so, despite my craziness and anal personality, everything turned out perfect.

i thank GOD for providing so many wonderful people who helped out with all of the details. it wouldn't have been as great without them.

Here are a few pictures from that perfect day...

"for I know the plans I have for you declares the LORD. plans to prosper you and not to harm you. plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

GOD, thank you so much for orchestrating the events in my life to bring me to this this man. i trust in YOUR plan for my life...not in my timing, but YOURS. thanks for always proving Yourself to be so faithful. amen.

Friday, August 28, 2009

new beginnings

i have always wanted to start a blog and now that i am married, i figured that right now is the best time. my hope is that this will be a great way to let you guys all know what is going on in and around our lives. GOD sure is doing a lot for Jeramy and me right now. so much is new, hence the title "new beginnings". we just got married, have a new home, and are learning what it means to show the love of Christ through our relationship with one another. thankfully, i have a wonderful husband who turned out to be quite the Godly leader. it is so awesome to watch him grow in his faith. truth inspires me to do the same. my favorite thing is to come home from work and see GOD's Word open on our counter, knowing that he has been looking to it all day long. now, please note the "when i come home from work" in the previous sentence. that is because this is not likely to happen in the morning. i leave way to early and he is still sound asleep. as i leave in the morning, i look over and see him sleeping so peacefully......and i am instantly jealous. :) i know as the weather gets colder in the morning, i am going to want to stay in bed. something tells me i am going to be even more jealous than i am now! ha ha!

again, i hope that you enjoy the blog and get to know our family in a more intimate way!