Monday, April 5, 2010

the question

"to be or not to be, that is the question" as we have all heard it.
well for us it has become to deliver or not to deliver: that truly is the question. right now we have some medical debate over whether it is time or not and it continues to put tracee and i back to placing our hope and trust in the Lord. baby gavin scored another 8of8 on his biophysical profile today. he had the hiccups on the ultrasound :-). both tracee and he have been lethargic due to the medicines she has been on as we balance the progression of gavin in the womb and the preeclampsia in tracee. this is so hard for us, i won't even begin to sugar coat the ups and downs we have experienced for several weeks now and especially in the last week since we have been in here. we know that your thoughts and prayers continue to go out to us and for us and we are forever grateful for that. our thought has been that we feel privelaged that this circumstance has caused so many people to cry out to God and to pray for us and for gavin. we know that God has purpose in all He does and if people have drawn closer to Him in this time, amen. we are tired. from air mattresses that continue to deflate in the middle of the night to tracee trying to find a comfortable place being hooked up to any and everything, makes it quite challenging.
the weather looks like it's nice out there but i wouldn't know. neither tracee nor i have been outside since saturday. if i never hear another blood pressure monitor beep or an IV pump chirp when it's empty, I'll be ok. obviously you can sense some frustrations; it's just me being real.
if there are things that i'm not addressing or any questions or concerns that you might have, please leave us a comment on the blog and i'll do my best to address it. like so many psalmists did, they rattled off complaints and frustrations and then always made sure to end with acknowledgement of the Lord. i will do the same. it's so nice to know that we have a paraclete, a helper who goes before us and prepares a path and defends us in our time of need. He hears the cries of His children and He fights for us.



  1. J, T-rae and 'Baby G' - my heart goes out to all of you! I know that the Lord is guiding your physicians, watching over you and taking care of you. *~*HUGS*~*


  2. Hi Friends,

    I'm not sure what words I could summon to help you find comfort in this uncertain time, but know I continue to think about and pray for your family all the time. If you think about it, you two are still practically newlyweds and what a journey you are on that continues to strengthen and bond your marriage. Gavin is blessed to have you two for parents and your faith. Keep matter when baby Gavin arrives, there are many babies that prove to thrive and be healthy under similar circumstances. Just look at the triplets in first grade (one of which Tracee has in her classroom). They arrived into this world at 27 or 28 weeks (can't remember which). If the time comes that he must make his entry into our world then you just live in the present and give him everything he needs at that moment. Your touch and warmth will be vital to his growth. Don't get caught up in statistics, just be his mommy and daddy.

    Love and prayers!

  3. Oh Tracee and Jeramy,
    I'm sitting here crying for you and asking God to send His comfort and wisdom. Jeramy, thank you for the honesty. It is a privilege to have that kind of raw assessment of the reality you are both living. I feel so sad you are in this situation, and yet I trust the Lord is faithfully working. I know you know that. Your testimony is living proof of it. And the world is watching, your friends and family are cheering you on, and we are waiting for a miracle with you.
    Isaiah 43:18-19 "18"Do not call to mind the former things,
    Or ponder things of the past.
    19"Behold, I will do something new,
    Now it will spring forth;
    Will you not be aware of it?
    I will even make a roadway in the wilderness,
    Rivers in the desert. "
    Trusting with you...Tracy

  4. praying... for sleep, for comfort, for faith and for a healthy tracee, gavin and jeramy! jesus is hope!

  5. Jeramy, thanks for letting so many into your life together. Praying for a miracle for that sweet baby boy and such a strong mommy. God hears our cries.

  6. We continue to lift the three of you up in constant prayer! I can't begin to imagine what you and Tracee are going through! It is evident that you two have strength one can only have through our Lord!! What a journey of unfailing faith and hope you two have! We will continue to check in on you and pray for guidance and clear direction! Hang in there!!

  7. Oh sweet friends...Your strength and honesty are amazing to read. Thank you for allowing so many of us into this most private time of your life but I know we feel honored for you to trust us to lift you in prayer. I hope the lyrics to WHO AM I by Casting Crowns remind you who you are... The Jesus who calmed the sea is here to bring you calm and rest.
    We are standing with you dear ones!

    WHO AM I~ by Casting Crowns
    Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
    Would care to know my name
    Would care to feel my hurt
    Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
    Would choose to light the way
    For my ever wandering heart

    Not because of who I am
    But because of what You've done
    Not because of what I've done
    But because of who You are

    I am a flower quickly fading
    Here today and gone tomorrow
    A wave tossed in the ocean
    Vapor in the wind
    Still You hear me when I'm calling
    Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
    And You've told me who I am
    I am Yours, I am Yours

    Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
    Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
    Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
    Would call out through the rain
    And calm the storm in me

    I am Yours
    Whom shall I fear
    Whom shall I fear
    'Cause I am Yours
    I am Yours

  8. All the love possible to you three. Our prayers are going up as Gavin enters the world....tonight? There is a time to be born. We trust our Father God to choose the moment.
    Love, Roxanne