i just realized it has almost been 10 days since we last posted. today is a special day for us. father's day and our 1st anniversary all packed into the same day this year! tracee and i had a wonderful chance to just relax and sort of unwind from all we have been dealing with. after all, gavin will be 11 weeks old tomorrow. he truly is a miracle and we can't lose sight of that. we still have to be faithful and remember to faithfully pray for gavin's lungs. they are bad. i mean, i guess it really gets put in perspective when they categorize his lungs as some of the worst lungs they have ever seen in the NICU. even though he has been moving in the right direction we have to remember that we still have a long way to go. he has been regressing a bit on CPAP and his oxygen requirements have been going up. i guess it's human nature to sort of ease up and relax and get to a point where you become content in your settings and adapt to your surroundings. but...we can't let up - we still have another 5-6 weeks to go and there is a lot of improvements that gavin needs to make before we can bring him home. it aches after time. we see babies come and go and while there is so much to celebrate there is so much for us to continue to ask for from our loving Heavenly Father on this very special father's day. pray for spiritual strength and tenacity to keep the faith and to remain in prayer and in the Word - that we may continue to learn from God during this time.
tracee and i had a wonderful time of celebration at dinner tonight for our multiple occasion celebration. she looked amazing and i am so thankful for her. she is the most amazing mom - i can't wait until she can display her skills full time! i am especially grateful to be a father and the wonderful life-long responsibility that comes with that. i have a son and that puts a huge smile on my face. a very happy father's day to all of you father's out there who read our blog - your position in the home and in your kids lives' is invaluable and integral to the family unit!
thank you thank you thank you to all who continue to support us in anonymous and known ways. we really couldn't press on and do this without you. we are looking ahead to the fact that we now have to move in about 5 weeks. not looking forward to it one bit, not gonna lie. in fact, i get tired just thinking about having to pack boxes and move. please pray for our move and a place for us to live. if any of you know of a home for rent (at a great price) or of someone who needs someone to occupy their home for some reason, please let us know as we are actively searching. we have some areas that we are looking to be within but, we trust God to provide and to show us the perfect place for us to end up. after all....this is all a part of His plan even though it's hard for us to process it all right now!
just a thought: if it is ever hard for you to think about praying for us or to understand what we may be going through just imagine what it would be like to be without your child for a couple of days. how about a week? how about 2 weeks? how about a month? how about 2 months? how about 11 weeks? how about 16 weeks? when it is all said and done, barring a true miracle of complete healing, we will have gone without our child for 4 months. that's crazy pespective guys. that's crazy perspective for me and i'm going through it!!!
so please lift us up in prayer...we need it.
jeramy
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Friday, June 11, 2010
long awaited update
sorry for the delay! things are crazy in our lives as usual. jeramy is back working at alliance financial resources which is the mortgage bank he worked for previously - providing financing for people refinance or purchase new homes. it's been a difficult industry for some time now but they have some exciting programs (some that other banks don't have) and he is working hard to build up his realtor partners and client base again. if you are in the market to buy or refinance or have a friend etc. - let us know and you can help support us in that way!
ok, now that we got that out of the way - gavin has been receiving steroids for a couple of days now to get him off of the ventilator for good! he is now 3 pounds 11 ounces and steadily approaching 4 pounds. just to give you some perspective, he reached 2 pounds on 5/14! we are so proud of how gavin has been doing and it becomes more and more exciting to go and spend time with him each and every day. tracee spends a majority of her day with him and really knows all of the ins and out of who he is. we love that she gets to do that because no one knows him better! he has been in an open crib for a little bit now and has been doing an awesome job of keeping his temperature. he loves his big boy bed! please be in prayer that gavin will continue to ween on his oxygen needs and that he will continue to grow and develop. he received another head ultrasound earlier this week and everything looked the same as the last one. he also received another eye exam and there are still no signs of abnormalities with ROP and his blood vessels still haven't connected to the back of his head. pray that all of that continues to go well!
on another note - when it rains it pours. having a child in the NICU alone is enough to stress you out of your mind. well, for us, we just found out that we probably will have to be out of our place and move by august 1st. hmm...i think gavin is supposed to come home around the middle to end of july...what great timing!! not really. sense the sarcasm in my writing - we are so stressed about where we will go and what we will do - we just started thinking about that as of today. it's sad for us as we just planned/prepared/ and finished gavin's room and now he won't get to enjoy it. we spent time and money putting that together for gavin and at this point it's all for not. i've got to say that we are being pulled through the most difficult time in our lives. we are just about ready to celebrate our 1st year of marriage on june 20th and we have seen and experienced things that most couples might never see in their first 20 years of marriage, let alone life. we tend to wonder quite a bit these days. as i mentioned earlier, gavin alone in the NICU is enough - but apparently we have other things to continue to go through. with the loss of tracee's income due to short term disability (they don't pay her for that) and the ups and downs of the commission world of mortgage things appear pretty uncertain. it's hard for us to make plans when we don't really have the confidence right now to know what we are doing. but...we do know that with God, sometimes things aren't always what they seem. we have to place our trust in that right now and trust in Him to make a way. we are so drained on every level: financially, spiritually, emotionally, physically - that's just being real. but...we will not lose hope. we will continue to act, as best we can, in the face of uncertainty.
we are so thrilled with gavin and his special life. he is our miracle and one of the most amazing blessing we have ever received. pray for us friends and followers. we're having a difficult time with the stresses of this life right now but trust that things are seasonl and for a time. we look forward to sharing many additional blessings with you in the future, we just need to encounter them!!!
ok, now that we got that out of the way - gavin has been receiving steroids for a couple of days now to get him off of the ventilator for good! he is now 3 pounds 11 ounces and steadily approaching 4 pounds. just to give you some perspective, he reached 2 pounds on 5/14! we are so proud of how gavin has been doing and it becomes more and more exciting to go and spend time with him each and every day. tracee spends a majority of her day with him and really knows all of the ins and out of who he is. we love that she gets to do that because no one knows him better! he has been in an open crib for a little bit now and has been doing an awesome job of keeping his temperature. he loves his big boy bed! please be in prayer that gavin will continue to ween on his oxygen needs and that he will continue to grow and develop. he received another head ultrasound earlier this week and everything looked the same as the last one. he also received another eye exam and there are still no signs of abnormalities with ROP and his blood vessels still haven't connected to the back of his head. pray that all of that continues to go well!
on another note - when it rains it pours. having a child in the NICU alone is enough to stress you out of your mind. well, for us, we just found out that we probably will have to be out of our place and move by august 1st. hmm...i think gavin is supposed to come home around the middle to end of july...what great timing!! not really. sense the sarcasm in my writing - we are so stressed about where we will go and what we will do - we just started thinking about that as of today. it's sad for us as we just planned/prepared/ and finished gavin's room and now he won't get to enjoy it. we spent time and money putting that together for gavin and at this point it's all for not. i've got to say that we are being pulled through the most difficult time in our lives. we are just about ready to celebrate our 1st year of marriage on june 20th and we have seen and experienced things that most couples might never see in their first 20 years of marriage, let alone life. we tend to wonder quite a bit these days. as i mentioned earlier, gavin alone in the NICU is enough - but apparently we have other things to continue to go through. with the loss of tracee's income due to short term disability (they don't pay her for that) and the ups and downs of the commission world of mortgage things appear pretty uncertain. it's hard for us to make plans when we don't really have the confidence right now to know what we are doing. but...we do know that with God, sometimes things aren't always what they seem. we have to place our trust in that right now and trust in Him to make a way. we are so drained on every level: financially, spiritually, emotionally, physically - that's just being real. but...we will not lose hope. we will continue to act, as best we can, in the face of uncertainty.
we are so thrilled with gavin and his special life. he is our miracle and one of the most amazing blessing we have ever received. pray for us friends and followers. we're having a difficult time with the stresses of this life right now but trust that things are seasonl and for a time. we look forward to sharing many additional blessings with you in the future, we just need to encounter them!!!
Thursday, June 3, 2010
nursery - part 1
jeramy and i originally painted the nursery green (safari green). once gavin came into this world though, the color of his room didn't look right. it didn't seem to fit him. we wanted to do something classic and simple instead. this is obviously a big step for us in beginning to prepare for gavin coming home one day. it was really hard for us to get to the point where we felt confident about his progress. the doctors, especially during the first month and a half, never mentioned anything about him coming home one day. i know that things can change at any moment and when gavin was in such critical condition, the last thing they wanted to do was give us false hope. however, we now feel so confident that he will come home with us one day. when?? well, that we don't know yet. we thank God every day for the progress that gavin is making and we know that without Him, none of this would be possible. it is with great joy and anticipation that we now begin the early stages of getting our house ready for our little boy.
we decided to go with blue on the top. the color is called "crystal waters"...it's absolutely precious. the bottom is an antique white and is called "ivory mist". my brother in law ryan, who is quite possibly one of the handiest men i have ever met, put up a wooden paneling as well. it looks exactly as i wanted. what do you think??
i will keep you all posted as things progress. next step.......furniture!
we decided to go with blue on the top. the color is called "crystal waters"...it's absolutely precious. the bottom is an antique white and is called "ivory mist". my brother in law ryan, who is quite possibly one of the handiest men i have ever met, put up a wooden paneling as well. it looks exactly as i wanted. what do you think??
i will keep you all posted as things progress. next step.......furniture!
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
3 pounds!
that's right!! gavin officially weighs 3 pounds today. they gave him another dose of lasics this afternoon while i was there because he does look a little puffy. one of the main reasons they give him lasics is to help with the fluid in his lungs. the lasics will help rid his body of any extra fluids. tentatively, they plan on giving him lasics (one dose) every few days. i say "tentatively" because, as you are all aware by now, things are very subject to change every day in the nicu. he is still stable on the ventilator, which is such a great sign since he has been off the steroids for quite sometime now.
their "plan" for gavin is to get him on to c pap in the next two weeks. their hope, and ours, is that once they get him there, that he will stay extubated and continue to make progress toward nasal canula (he can go home on nasal canula). because gavin is still requiring a moderate amount of oxygen on the ventilator, they may decide to do a short, two-day burst of steroids (our fourth round) right before they extubate him. obviously, our hope is that God intervenes for gavin and that he can show the doctors that he has enough strength to withstand the change and for his lungs to have the strength they need to breathe while on c pap. please pray along with us for that...
we started swaddle-holding gavin this week (i call it holding him like a "real" baby...ha ha). it is so different than kangarooing with him. the connection is so much better since we can see his face and he can "see" ours. here is a picture of jeramy holding gavin two nights ago....just precious!
the nurses all say how big he is getting, whenever they are off for a period of time, they come back and ask things like, "did that baby eat gavin?" we love his nurses. they are the best. every person in that nicu is the best. they save his life every day. how do you even begin to thank someone for that?
jeramy and i are doing well...i still cry every day (which is totally normal as a nicu mom). lately, i have had some happy tears, which is a nice change of pace. jeramy went back to work at his previous company, still working as a mortgage broker. our schedule is a little different now. i go to the hospital around noon and do his cares and sometimes hold him. i am usually there until around 4:00 and then i head home to start on dinner. jeramy gets off work around 6:30, we eat dinner and then head to the hospital for his cares at 8:00. we usually get home anywhere between 10 and 10:30. it usually makes for a pretty long day but it's definitely worth it.
as always, we thank you tremendously for your prayers, your love and support.
"for I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you...do not fear; I will help you."
Isaiah 41:13
their "plan" for gavin is to get him on to c pap in the next two weeks. their hope, and ours, is that once they get him there, that he will stay extubated and continue to make progress toward nasal canula (he can go home on nasal canula). because gavin is still requiring a moderate amount of oxygen on the ventilator, they may decide to do a short, two-day burst of steroids (our fourth round) right before they extubate him. obviously, our hope is that God intervenes for gavin and that he can show the doctors that he has enough strength to withstand the change and for his lungs to have the strength they need to breathe while on c pap. please pray along with us for that...
we started swaddle-holding gavin this week (i call it holding him like a "real" baby...ha ha). it is so different than kangarooing with him. the connection is so much better since we can see his face and he can "see" ours. here is a picture of jeramy holding gavin two nights ago....just precious!
the nurses all say how big he is getting, whenever they are off for a period of time, they come back and ask things like, "did that baby eat gavin?" we love his nurses. they are the best. every person in that nicu is the best. they save his life every day. how do you even begin to thank someone for that?
jeramy and i are doing well...i still cry every day (which is totally normal as a nicu mom). lately, i have had some happy tears, which is a nice change of pace. jeramy went back to work at his previous company, still working as a mortgage broker. our schedule is a little different now. i go to the hospital around noon and do his cares and sometimes hold him. i am usually there until around 4:00 and then i head home to start on dinner. jeramy gets off work around 6:30, we eat dinner and then head to the hospital for his cares at 8:00. we usually get home anywhere between 10 and 10:30. it usually makes for a pretty long day but it's definitely worth it.
as always, we thank you tremendously for your prayers, your love and support.
"for I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you...do not fear; I will help you."
Isaiah 41:13
Thursday, May 27, 2010
a little bit of everything
gavin finished his third round of steroids twelve days ago and he has pretty much been able to maintain his ventilator settings. they have been able to ween some of his settings on the ventilator and our hope as that with each day, he can put on more weight and move closer and closer to being on c pap. he is still tolerating his feeds, getting 27 ml every 3 hours. it takes him an hour and a half to eat all of that so he basically just eats all day. no wonder he is growing! he now weighs 2 lbs. 11 ounces. in addition to tolerating his feeds, they stopped his morphine, which he was only getting once every 24 hours. so now, he only has his e.t. tube and his feeding tube. there are no iv's, no picc lines...NOTHING in his little body. we love that. they are drawing occasional blood gases so he does get pricked every now and then but not nearly as often as he was before!
gavin is so alert. when we talk to him, he looks our direction and will open his eyes. we love that. it definitely makes us feel more connected. the eye doctor came in to look at his eyes since premature babies' retinas aren't attached. he checked to see if the blood vessels are making their way toward the eye. the vessels haven't reached yet, but as of his first check, it doesn't appear that anything is abnormal. the eye doctor will check him every 2 weeks to see how the vessels are progressing and to check for abnormalities.
another step we have coming up will be moving gavin to an open crib from his incubator. there are a variety of things that the doctors like to see happen before this occurs. they like the babies to be about 1800 grams (gavin is about 1200), be able to regulate their body temperature (which gavin is pretty much doing...), and they prefer that they are off of the ventilator. we obviously don't want to push any of these steps with gavin since he is progressing so well. they are beginning to pull back the blanket on top of his incubator so that gavin can begin to adjust to day/night. this is super exciting to us....steps forward indeed! another reason that we don't want to push him into an open crib too soon (not that it's up to us anyway :-) is that gavin is still very sensitive to noise and when he is outside of the incubator/has the cover off (which helps muffle sound), he tends to de-sat and require more support. the more mature he gets, the better that will be.
we are extremely pleased with gavin's overall health. he is getting so big!! he still is occasionally having his breathing episodes (bronchial spasms) where he needs to be bagged. those are extremely scary for us. also, he extubated himself the other night 2 or 3 times. please pray that he keeps his tube in and that his lungs continue to heal and get stronger and stronger, which will help him with the bradys and the spasms.
thank you so much for all of your prayers and support, as always. i cannot stress enough how blessed we feel...
Great is His FAITHFULNESS!
gavin is so alert. when we talk to him, he looks our direction and will open his eyes. we love that. it definitely makes us feel more connected. the eye doctor came in to look at his eyes since premature babies' retinas aren't attached. he checked to see if the blood vessels are making their way toward the eye. the vessels haven't reached yet, but as of his first check, it doesn't appear that anything is abnormal. the eye doctor will check him every 2 weeks to see how the vessels are progressing and to check for abnormalities.
another step we have coming up will be moving gavin to an open crib from his incubator. there are a variety of things that the doctors like to see happen before this occurs. they like the babies to be about 1800 grams (gavin is about 1200), be able to regulate their body temperature (which gavin is pretty much doing...), and they prefer that they are off of the ventilator. we obviously don't want to push any of these steps with gavin since he is progressing so well. they are beginning to pull back the blanket on top of his incubator so that gavin can begin to adjust to day/night. this is super exciting to us....steps forward indeed! another reason that we don't want to push him into an open crib too soon (not that it's up to us anyway :-) is that gavin is still very sensitive to noise and when he is outside of the incubator/has the cover off (which helps muffle sound), he tends to de-sat and require more support. the more mature he gets, the better that will be.
we are extremely pleased with gavin's overall health. he is getting so big!! he still is occasionally having his breathing episodes (bronchial spasms) where he needs to be bagged. those are extremely scary for us. also, he extubated himself the other night 2 or 3 times. please pray that he keeps his tube in and that his lungs continue to heal and get stronger and stronger, which will help him with the bradys and the spasms.
thank you so much for all of your prayers and support, as always. i cannot stress enough how blessed we feel...
Great is His FAITHFULNESS!
Monday, May 17, 2010
a picture of perfection
here is a recent picture of gavin...wide awake! some of you have seen it but we wanted to make sure that all of our faithful followers got to see him!
is it just me, or is he perfect? :)
music to my ears
i love music and i love how God uses it to speak to me. it's crazy how i can hear a song numerous times and never really have it resinate with me until i face some type of momentous occasion, whether joyous or painful. obviously, in this time in my life, it's the painful moments that have me looking closely at the lyrics in a song. i remember hearing this song on my way to the hospital one morning last week. as i was driving down the 101, i had a beautiful view of the mountains and desert and i was thinking about just how big everything that God made really is. i have to be honest that i found myself frustrated. why was it that my God, who is so big and has created the heavens and earth, still hasn't "stepped in and saved the day"? i know that it's not because He can't. if that was the case, i wouldn't be frustrated. i'm frustrated because i KNOW that He can. i find myself frequently crying out to Him, "What are You waiting for?!". i don't have the answer to that....i don't think anyone does. but i think it's okay to be frustrated and to voice those frustrations to Christ. lately, i'm finding that transparency with God is a good thing...something i've never really experienced with Him before. and at the end of each day, even when it's "still raining", i CHOOSE to praise Him in this storm. please read through the lyrics (even if you've heard the song a hundred times). i think it is the most honest plea with Christ that still has a man bowing at the feet of Jesus amidst his misunderstanding.
and i'll praise You in this storm
"Praise You In This Storm"
i was sure by now
God You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away
stepped in and saved the day
but once again, i say "Amen", and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
i barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
i raise my hands and praise the God who gives
and takes away
and i'll praise You in this storm
and i will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where i am
and every tear i've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
i will praise You in this storm
i remember when
i stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and You raised me up again
my strength is almost gone
how can i carry on
if i can't find You
but as the thunder rolls
i barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
i raise my hands and praise the God who gives
and takes away
i lift my eyes unto the hills
where does my help come from?
my help comes from the Lord
the Maker of Heaven and Earth
days when my strength almost feels gone, just like the song says, He gives me just enough to get through it. i believe He speaks in ways that i'll understand. lately, for me, it's been through music. for those of you who may have never heard this song before, i added it to the playlist on the blog. love you all!
feed me! feed me!
let me start with some good news: gavin loves his food! i realized since we wrote last that he was just about 900 grams. as of this morning he has broken through the 1 kilogram milestone and is now sitting at 2 pounds 4 ounces! that makes all of us so happy!! he continues to tolerate his feeds and he is now up to 22 ml's every 3 hours spread out over a 1.5 hour feed. so...he basically is eating all the time. he continue to poop and pee very regularly and that is AWESOME for these micro preemies. he has been averaging about an ounce a day over the past 3 days and that is such a thrill for mommy and daddy.
he continues to have some bouts with the bradycardia's we mentioned last time and there is no way to sugar coat those, they are darn scary. yesterday he had one just after we were helping do his cares about 2:30pm and it just came out of nowhere. all of a sudden there were 5 people bedside and my folks and tracee and i were just watching and praying as they brought him back. it is so tough for us in those moments but if you were to look at him afterwards, you would never be able to tell he just had a major scare! he is always wide awake and looking around - probably thinking "what are you guys all doing staring at me? i'm fine." you give us all a run for our money gavin!!
he continues to get his antibiotic (day 4) every 8 hours to fight the infection in his body and for tracee and i we sense that he is still sick. they had to move his IV from his head to his arm as the catheter wouldn't flush any longer; it had become kinked. they increased his pressure settings on the ventilator this morning because his CO2 levels were a bit elevated and the continue to work with gavin's lungs.
once again we update you all and ask that you continue to pray for his LUNGS. he is now 4 days off of the steroid and we PRAY that he can continue to maintain the levels he is at so they can grow him on the vent and get him bigger and stronger in preparation for CPAP down the road.
yesterday tracee and i sat in church and listened to a wonderful sermon on abiding in God. that word abide can also be translated as remain. it brings comfort to both of us to know that God remains in us at all times and we have to make a conscious effort to remember to remain in Him. what a faith building exercise we continue to go through!
a dear friend of mine gave me a book called The Red Sea Rules: the same God who led you in will lead you out by robert j. morgan. for those of you who don't know the leadings up to the point where moses parted the red sea, and the israelites walked through to safety on the other side, it was looking pretty bleak for them. the egyptians has allowed their israelite slaves to go and, led by moses, they sought out the promised land with God's direction. a long story short, they ended up encamped next to the sea with mountains surrounding them on either side, the sea in front of them and the egyptians pursuing them from behind. God led them to this place! well...we all know the miracle that took place and the sea was parted and the egyptians in their pursuit were swallowed up by the sea just as the israelites all reached safety on the other side. the impossible way of escape was made possible.
in the next to last chapter of this book, it talks about faith building. "Lord, increase our faith. Lord, I believe; help Thou mine unbelief." God grows faith in us, just as he is growing gavin's little body now. how? the book states that like any good teacher, He bestows truth, then devises tests to review and reinforce that truth, to transfer and translate it into lasting, life-changing experiences. it's like He is the coach and we are the players. we take His Word in scripture and use them as the plays and the rules and then we practice and scrimmage and re-review, etc. in this process we go from being good players to skilled pros. little faith grows into great faith.
i am not saying i have this all down! not at all! the thought crossed my mind yesterday as i sat in church: "why can't i just trust more?" i doubt all the time!! but God's grace carries us through and we continue to practice some more.
our concerns for today and over the next couple of days will be his lungs and how they will have to support him with his settings. continue on with us as we trust God for His timing and His healing hand upon gavin's body. guys, i cannot begin to tell you how beautiful he is! what an amazing kid. we long for the day to bring him home. thank you for your help in sustaining us in our weaknesses and our frustrations. please continue to reach out to us and support us as you feel led - we feel so good to know that you are there. THANK YOU!
jeramy
he continues to have some bouts with the bradycardia's we mentioned last time and there is no way to sugar coat those, they are darn scary. yesterday he had one just after we were helping do his cares about 2:30pm and it just came out of nowhere. all of a sudden there were 5 people bedside and my folks and tracee and i were just watching and praying as they brought him back. it is so tough for us in those moments but if you were to look at him afterwards, you would never be able to tell he just had a major scare! he is always wide awake and looking around - probably thinking "what are you guys all doing staring at me? i'm fine." you give us all a run for our money gavin!!
he continues to get his antibiotic (day 4) every 8 hours to fight the infection in his body and for tracee and i we sense that he is still sick. they had to move his IV from his head to his arm as the catheter wouldn't flush any longer; it had become kinked. they increased his pressure settings on the ventilator this morning because his CO2 levels were a bit elevated and the continue to work with gavin's lungs.
once again we update you all and ask that you continue to pray for his LUNGS. he is now 4 days off of the steroid and we PRAY that he can continue to maintain the levels he is at so they can grow him on the vent and get him bigger and stronger in preparation for CPAP down the road.
yesterday tracee and i sat in church and listened to a wonderful sermon on abiding in God. that word abide can also be translated as remain. it brings comfort to both of us to know that God remains in us at all times and we have to make a conscious effort to remember to remain in Him. what a faith building exercise we continue to go through!
a dear friend of mine gave me a book called The Red Sea Rules: the same God who led you in will lead you out by robert j. morgan. for those of you who don't know the leadings up to the point where moses parted the red sea, and the israelites walked through to safety on the other side, it was looking pretty bleak for them. the egyptians has allowed their israelite slaves to go and, led by moses, they sought out the promised land with God's direction. a long story short, they ended up encamped next to the sea with mountains surrounding them on either side, the sea in front of them and the egyptians pursuing them from behind. God led them to this place! well...we all know the miracle that took place and the sea was parted and the egyptians in their pursuit were swallowed up by the sea just as the israelites all reached safety on the other side. the impossible way of escape was made possible.
in the next to last chapter of this book, it talks about faith building. "Lord, increase our faith. Lord, I believe; help Thou mine unbelief." God grows faith in us, just as he is growing gavin's little body now. how? the book states that like any good teacher, He bestows truth, then devises tests to review and reinforce that truth, to transfer and translate it into lasting, life-changing experiences. it's like He is the coach and we are the players. we take His Word in scripture and use them as the plays and the rules and then we practice and scrimmage and re-review, etc. in this process we go from being good players to skilled pros. little faith grows into great faith.
i am not saying i have this all down! not at all! the thought crossed my mind yesterday as i sat in church: "why can't i just trust more?" i doubt all the time!! but God's grace carries us through and we continue to practice some more.
our concerns for today and over the next couple of days will be his lungs and how they will have to support him with his settings. continue on with us as we trust God for His timing and His healing hand upon gavin's body. guys, i cannot begin to tell you how beautiful he is! what an amazing kid. we long for the day to bring him home. thank you for your help in sustaining us in our weaknesses and our frustrations. please continue to reach out to us and support us as you feel led - we feel so good to know that you are there. THANK YOU!
jeramy
Thursday, May 13, 2010
bradycardia
well...we continue to ride the rollercoaster. up and down and around and around. that just seems to be the typical stint in the NICU for a baby like gavin and for being as young and premature and sick as he has been. there are a lot of things to be very thankful for though. he is doing phenomenally well on his feeds and is up to 20ml's of food every 3 hours and has now gone to 26 calorie which is a fortified feed. the doctor explained to tracee yesterday that the equivalent of what he is getting would be like me ingesting 15,000 calories a day! his little body is clearly needing it as he did drop 10 grams overnight so he sits just under 900 grams.
please pray, pray, pray for his lungs still!! he has had what they call brady's over the past 3 days which are due to some bronchio spasms occuring where his airways just shut down and he needs to be bagged to inflate his chest and get him back on track. this is a very scary thing for us and i'm sure for him as well. please pray for our peace as we continue to trust in God's healing for gavin and for his lungs and freedom from these episodes.
gavin is scheduled to get some blood today and then have his pic line taken out later on. he received his last dose of the steroid this morning and we PRAY that this will be enough to get him over the hump!! he is such a sweet boy and already has an amazing personality and a drive to live and pull through. we get so tired of having to go through this over and over again - we don't want to hear talk of any more steroids!
please stand with us in these prayer requests. we know that there is a lot of power in prayer!
jeramy
please pray, pray, pray for his lungs still!! he has had what they call brady's over the past 3 days which are due to some bronchio spasms occuring where his airways just shut down and he needs to be bagged to inflate his chest and get him back on track. this is a very scary thing for us and i'm sure for him as well. please pray for our peace as we continue to trust in God's healing for gavin and for his lungs and freedom from these episodes.
gavin is scheduled to get some blood today and then have his pic line taken out later on. he received his last dose of the steroid this morning and we PRAY that this will be enough to get him over the hump!! he is such a sweet boy and already has an amazing personality and a drive to live and pull through. we get so tired of having to go through this over and over again - we don't want to hear talk of any more steroids!
please stand with us in these prayer requests. we know that there is a lot of power in prayer!
jeramy
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
860 grams
gavin weighs 1.89597545 pounds today - at least that's what google told me when i converted how many grams he is today. i guess gavin decided to extubate himself last night. apparently this is not much of a shock as these little guys begin to get older and more aware of their surroundings. the neonatologist was right there to re-intubate him and all is good. gavin continues to remain stable on his current settings on the coventional ventilator and that is good as we really need him to grow! they have continued to increase his feeds each day and he is now getting 15.5 ml's of fortified breast milk which is awesome! if you remember back from many posts ago, he was getting 3ml's or so every 3 hours. tolerating feeds in the NICU is one of the biggest hurdles and so far, God's blessings, gavin has continued to increase on his feeds. he is almost up to full feeds and will probably be there tonight or tomorrow.
there are only 7 babies in the NICU right now as a lot of gavin's mates have gone home. he still has a couple of friends who are in there with him that will be there for some time, but gavin still remains the smallest and most critical baby in the NICU. but....he is coming along! it's important for us to remember that God delivers in His own unique way in His own timing. my little finite brain continues to think that i know what the best plan of attack should be but i seem to get over ridden quite a bit! at the end of the day it continues to come back to trusting. we trust that God has a plan and will continue to allow it to be revealed in His timing.
nevertheless we continue to petition for our prayer requests and for what we as well as the doctors want to see for him!
our request for today is that you would continue to pray for protection over gavin's body and organs. please continue to pray for the right nurses to be with him and that they would be alert and attentive to his needs. the NICU, just like any other business, tends to relax when things slow down. it's such a crazy phenomenon but i see it happen in business all the time and it's not something we want to experience in the nicu. we don't want the nurses to relax when paying attention to gavin as his signs are so important for his life right now. please pray for his GROWTH!! he will be coming off of his steroid either today or tomorrow and it is so important for him to be able to maintain and to sustain and the more he grows, the bigger and stronger he becomes. it isn't good for babies to remain on the ventilators for long periods of time, but for now he is ok. however, please pray that his lungs would continue to improve and strengthen so we can get him back to c pap and then eventually even lower support than that.
i try to be as specific as i can for you all so that you know what to pray for and what is going on exactly. this is no time to be vague!
finally, thank you to all of you who have continued to support gavin and both tracee and me! the bracelets have been a huge success to help remind people to think of and pray for gavin. the benefit account is up and running and we thank you for donating and helping as you feel called! we could not do this without you all - nor would we want to!
i continue to be humbled when i see so many people join forces and come together for something such as this. thank you for caring so much for us and for gavin's life. he is a beatiful little boy and i can't wait for you all to be able to see more of that and partake in that a little bit more. in the meantime, you know how you can help us!! PRAY! PRAY! PRAY!
"delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4
jeramy
there are only 7 babies in the NICU right now as a lot of gavin's mates have gone home. he still has a couple of friends who are in there with him that will be there for some time, but gavin still remains the smallest and most critical baby in the NICU. but....he is coming along! it's important for us to remember that God delivers in His own unique way in His own timing. my little finite brain continues to think that i know what the best plan of attack should be but i seem to get over ridden quite a bit! at the end of the day it continues to come back to trusting. we trust that God has a plan and will continue to allow it to be revealed in His timing.
nevertheless we continue to petition for our prayer requests and for what we as well as the doctors want to see for him!
our request for today is that you would continue to pray for protection over gavin's body and organs. please continue to pray for the right nurses to be with him and that they would be alert and attentive to his needs. the NICU, just like any other business, tends to relax when things slow down. it's such a crazy phenomenon but i see it happen in business all the time and it's not something we want to experience in the nicu. we don't want the nurses to relax when paying attention to gavin as his signs are so important for his life right now. please pray for his GROWTH!! he will be coming off of his steroid either today or tomorrow and it is so important for him to be able to maintain and to sustain and the more he grows, the bigger and stronger he becomes. it isn't good for babies to remain on the ventilators for long periods of time, but for now he is ok. however, please pray that his lungs would continue to improve and strengthen so we can get him back to c pap and then eventually even lower support than that.
i try to be as specific as i can for you all so that you know what to pray for and what is going on exactly. this is no time to be vague!
finally, thank you to all of you who have continued to support gavin and both tracee and me! the bracelets have been a huge success to help remind people to think of and pray for gavin. the benefit account is up and running and we thank you for donating and helping as you feel called! we could not do this without you all - nor would we want to!
i continue to be humbled when i see so many people join forces and come together for something such as this. thank you for caring so much for us and for gavin's life. he is a beatiful little boy and i can't wait for you all to be able to see more of that and partake in that a little bit more. in the meantime, you know how you can help us!! PRAY! PRAY! PRAY!
"delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4
jeramy
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