Thursday, May 6, 2010

newsflash: gavin is a miracle

yesterday they adjusted gavin's birth age to 24.4 weeks as to what they think he actually was when born on april 5th. i think they probably waited until 30 days of life to make the adjustment so we could feel a little better about ourselves thinking we had given birth to a 26.6 week old baby boy. gavin continues to show amazing signs based on this new revelation.
he is teetering on the 2 pound mark between yesterday and today. he continues to tolerate his feeds and is up to about 9 ml's of food every 3 hours. i'm not sure about you but i think i'd be pretty full after a big meal like that. with the help of his 3rd round of steroids he is improving on his oxygen needs and on his ventilator settings. he will continue to get weened on steroids for another week as to not make the mistake of bringing him off too soon. as we always mention there are always risks to the steroids and to the potential effects of neurological issues and IQ point losses. please pray that his brain and body will continue to be protected!
he received his 30 day head ultrasound yesterday and the prelim report showed a grade 1 brain bleed. these ultrasounds are graded on a scale of 0 to 4 with zero being nothing and 4 being the worst. a 1 revealed that he shows signs of some veins in the brain that, through stress, have bled out a bit. we are told and reassured that this is very common in preemies and that a lot of times these just absorb into the body with no long term effects. you know how to pray people! pray that there would be no long term effects and that his head would grow at a normal rate. he gets a head circumference done every week and his head should grow by a .5cm a week. so far, he is perfectly normal on his head growth and his head looks perfect to us. they will continue to measure to make sure that it doesn't grow bigger than it should as that would be an alarm to the fact that there is blood on the brain. we trust you Lord for healing!
it looks like tracee will get a chance to hold him on mommy's day this sunday. please pray that this will happen and all will go well and that it will be a perfect and special day for us.
these days, even when he begins to do "well" i have a hard time feeling peaceful about that. i have been dealing with this stuff for over 7 weeks now (3 before tracee gave birth and was on bed rest and then hospital) and it appears we have another 12 weeks or so in the NICU.  thank you for continuing to lift us up when there feels like there is nothing left in the tank.
really dwell on the understanding that gavin is a true miracle. when i look at him he really and truly looks perfect - just micro. i know this economy is difficult and our governments are in disarray and our finances have been hit hard and the sky is falling and on and on...but gavin creates the need to stop and dwell and really think about what is important. have you done that lately? have you done that today? my grandparents always counseled me about feelings. every single one of the "worldly" things i just mentioned above will cause us to "feel" something about them. my grandparents used to say "YOU make me so mad isn't an appropriate statement. nobody can make you feel anything, it's rather a choice you have to make." rather, don't give the power to somebody else or to the world or to that circumstance. own your feelings. you can say "i feel mad when..." or "i feel sad when..." and i think i bring all of this up because gavin serves as a barometer for what feelings are really appropriate and what is actually really important. gavin is teaching us how to live better lives and how to be better husbands and wives and boyfriends and girlfriends and sisters and brothers and employees and employers, and of course, better mommy's and daddy's. get your bracelet and allow that to serve as that reminder of what order you have your priorities lined up in this life.
thank you faithful followers!
PS - please post from where you all are following from across this country and the world so we can be encouraged by that. :-)

jeramy

16 comments:

  1. Wow this is a great post! I love everything you said about feelings. Makes me think twice about things. Hope Gavin continues to get stronger day by day and his mommy gets to hold him on Mothers Day. What a gift that will be!

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  2. What a beautiful post Jeramy and Tracee! I'm sure you have no idea HOW many people read your blog! Everyone I talk to that reads it is completely amazed by all 3 of you! I went by Tracee's mom's yesterday and picked up some bracelets to hand out at my bible study as well as to give them to anyone I know praying for you guys. I have mine on and every time I touch it or see it, I pray!

    and remember, for this you have Jesus!!!
    blessings!
    jamie & dennis

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  3. Hey guys,

    You don't know me but I work with Jessica Utterback. Your story has truly brought me to tears and filled me with awe. Your faith is inspirational and a reminder to all of us in our daily walk with the Lord.

    With that said, been around lots of preemies in my work (albeit, none quite as small as Gavin). Don't let level 1 bleeds worry you - almost NEVER a long term issue. Many drs will tell you we probably all have level 1, and sometimes even level 2 bleeds, and just never know it from simple things like bumping our heads.

    Also, my two older boys have immune issues and have been on steroids many times. Maybe not the same, I'm not sure but the agitation etc goes away when then medicine stops. Hopefully it will be the same for Gavin but in the meantime steroids are a truly miraculous for breathing issues.

    Continue to praise God for Gavin every day. He'll do things - just in his own time - it's exhausting being a preemie and a simple breath is a lot of work. I know you want him off of the machines but they are making his life so much easier. Let him sit there and chill and put his energy into nerve and neurological development and maybe even gaining weight.

    I have such a strong belief that you both and Gavin are going to be together for a long and happy life. Just take it one day or one hour at a time for now. I know 12 more weeks seems FOREVER but I promise when he is 16 and out driving on his own for the first time, that 3 hours will seem even longer. Most weeks he will be getting better and time with him will be less and less stressful and more and more exciting. Now is the hard part - it will get easier (it has to right?)

    deb

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  4. I am once again so touched by you both. Thank you so much for your transparency! That means more than anything. Having faith and trust is not always easy. This is where fellow believers can "lift up your arms" when you are too weak to do it. God IS our strength when we have none. He does amazing things in our hardest moments in this life. Your little son already is being used by God to encourage and challenge all of us who are following his story. I know you would never have chosen this path for him or your lives...but God is using it for eternal purpose. God is in control and is doing a mighty thing! We all wait for the continued miralce! Go Gavin Go! Go God Go!!!!

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  5. Praying for you in Kalamazoo, MI!!!

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  6. Praying for you from Geneva, IL!
    (a friend of Beth G.)

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  7. I think one of the greatest things that shows the true heart of a Christian and their walk is when they face horrible challenges and in midst of it all still use it to Glorify God and to spread the Light into the world. Keep strong in the Lord! He see's you both Tracee and Jeremy and HE is SO pleased. Gavin...you make our hearts soar...you are so beautiful and we know you can do it little man!
    Praying for every good thing....Scottsdale, AZ. (friend of Star)

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  8. I am so happy to hear that he is doing so well! I want to wish you a wonderful Mother's Day and many more to come! You are missed at school, but Gavin needs you more!

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  9. Tracee, wishing you love and peace on your first Mother's day! Jeramy, Father's day is just around the corner :) love you three xoxoxo
    Jen, Ben and Harper

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  10. Jeramy and Tracee,
    You are all lifted up in prayer! God is sooo big and sooo good! May you feelHis presence today and as you travel on this journey! We pray daily for Gavin..for his continued strength, growth, and protection! Wishing you a Happy Mother's Day Tracee! You are all loved! Sending our love and prayers from Denver Colorado!! The Veens

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  11. Phoenix, AZ!!!

    -Friends of friends who pray for you each and every day. :)

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  12. Stephanie MainsMay 7, 2010 at 8:46 PM

    Tracee--I was in Phoenix this last weekend. I've been following your blog since Gavin was born, but I touched base with your mom. She gave me a bracelet.
    Jeramy--I haven't met you, but I went to Bethany with Tracee since we were itty bitty and we went to Phoenix Christian together. Your wife is amazing.

    I sport the bracelet daily and my whole small group here is praying for you guys. Someday things will be made so right. I can't wait to see that day with you guys. You are so special. Continue in your obedience!

    from Dallas, TX

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  13. Still praying and so excited to see the constant, daily miracles that happen through this little guy. Can't wait to see where you will all be a year from now when he is 13 months old. How cool will that be???!!!! Thanks again for allowing so many to go on this journey with you!

    Love to you all from St. Charles, IL
    Beth Griebel

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  14. Here in Phoenix but I had a Rabbi put a healing prayer in the Western Wall in Jerusalem for Gavin. He has all bases covered!

    Raquel Schnitzer

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  15. Surprise, AZ

    Go Gavin Go

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  16. Happy Mother's Day Tracee! I am so moved by your postings, and by the comments from those who love you and are praying for you.

    Today is Jack's birthday, and it seems like just yesterday he was a struggling 2 pounder in the NICU with diapers the size of a postage stamp, and an IV needle in his head because they ran out of veins in his hands and feet! I held him for the first time on Mother's Day, and I prayed that you would have that to share with him yesterday. If not, know that the time is coming soon.

    You are already amazing parents! Thank you for taking the time to keep us updated.

    GO GAVIN GO!

    Kristin, Michael and Jack (Tracee's student who misses her very much!)

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